Here I am, not quite dying...

Well it's been an awfully long time, I'm still alive and so much has changed since that last post.
Does anyone even use this site anymore or read this?

I have decided to start using this page again, an update will happen soon.

For now a brief update :
I have laid off the alcohol [for the most part] and substances, the nicotine... not quite there yet. My life isn't as shitty and stupid as before, I've grown a lot since then. I have made new friends and have lost a few ones. My business Purus Filth Inc. has been doing decent and I'm much more focused on it. I have a special person in my life. I've gotten cool opportunities in meeting musicians and even becoming friends with some. I'm much more artistic and it's good for me. I've been doing Psyclon Nine's makeup when I'm at their shows which is fun and a unique experience. I finally got to see Dope Stars Inc. from Italy. I'm also insanely obsessed with David Bowie a lot of the time. AFI in October with great friends and a few cool stuff ahead.

I will probably come back to this or update with a bit more detail, just figured I'd post a little something.
Ciao

RIP Danny

Hey you, couch potato Danny you!
Why'd you have to go and leave us so soon man? Goddamn it, I still can't believe you're gone, just like that! This has seriously been a hard time for me, well it still is to be honest. I wish I could go back in time, I really do... I'd make sure that night never happened to you. I miss you. :( We were suppose to hang out that weekend and party it up. I'll never forget our hang outs though. I remember all our random stupid conversation and the serious ones too. Oi... This was very unexpected. I hope you're well, wherever it is you went. But don't worry we'll be doing it big in the afterlife! You know we will! I wish we had more time to hang out and talk about certain things you brought up once... we'll get our chance though. I'm thankful I had you in my life, you were a great friend and always put a smile on my face, there was never a day we hung out where you made me mad nor upset, it was always a good time with you. I miss you. Rest in Peace mi amigo, te quiero mucho.

As these are hard times

We'll work harder, harder. Through these hard times, I'll work harder, harder.

Life has been getting stupid and stupid over the past few weeks, I can't even think straight anymore, I kind of just want to drink my problems away, but I know it won't be good to do that. Shit just keeps hitting the fan or something, jesus. When I think things are turning around shit just goes bad. I gotta stay positive though and not let shit get to me.
I just want my cousin back and my family here, the US is pissing me off. Money is such a huge issue right now. Job hunting all day tomorrow and going to be turning in tons of resumes to places. I hope there's something out there for me, I really need to help my family. I don't even know where my life is going, it just wastes away day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute and second by second..I can't do this anymore I need something to look forward to...

Yeah yeah yeah...

I don't even know what to post, I can't even remember what's been up with life, all I know as of now is that I'm a college drop out, hah! I finally got my car working, so I drive now. Been off certain substances for about 5 months now. Going to a lot of shows and checking out venues, upcoming shows are: Plan 9, Blaqk Audio and Crystal Castles! It's gonna be LEGIT! Bwah bwah bwah I NEED my laptop, I think I'm done blogging cause I kind of stopped giving a fuck so I really have nothing to bitch about anymore, hahah we'll see what my brain can poop out on the next post!

An update

I will update on sooooooo much real soon, I haven't updated much because my laptop broke and I usually blogged at random times like 3am, now I'm stuck using my house computer where my parents are always around... I feel like they're watching me all the time, that's just my paranoia. Hah, stay tunned. :)

She's lost control...

And seized up on the floor, I thought she'd die...She said I've lost control. She's lost control again...


Someone take these dreams away...

I've seem to have lost control, my mind is all over the place, I don't even know what I'm thinking right now, so many thoughts rushing at once. I'm just freaking out...

I had a good day though, went to Santa Cruz for a show which was fun... Haven't posted much really, well I got to see Crystal Castles, got kicked by Alice as she stood on the crowd, held her up and her crotch was in my face, good fucking show. I can't think of what else is new really. I'm too fucking brain dead right now...




I'm just confused again, being led on blows, I should just not even bother with that stuff right now. It just makes me wonder about the situation... I should just focus on school and photo-shoots.


Listening to Joy Division lately, and been feeling like Ian Curtis, fucked up.

Pushing Everything Away

So lately I've been a fucking mess, I isolated myself for 6 days... It was nice for the first few days, then it got a little scary...Hah luckily Alissa and Holly kidnapped me, after that I did two photo shoots, went to the club twice and got filmed twice. It's been crazy how quickly things randomly turned around for me, but it's been great! More photo shoots coming up and a portfolio to build up, going to see if Model Mayhem approves of me and hopefully find small work there.

Yogofina is open so it's time to go turn in a resume, hopefully that works out too, working is something I should be doing and it sucks not having any money.

Here are a few of my favorite shots from the photoshoots:

So as my title says, 'Pushing Everything Away' it's exactly what I'm going to start doing, at least all the negative things, because for once I'm being productive and have shit going for me. So anyone who's going to bring me down, get the hell away from me.